R U M I N A T I O N S

I read about The Stockdale Paradox in the book ‘Good to Great’ by Jim Collins. Although in the book, it is mainly applied to companies, it has implications in our lives too. But, before that, what is the 'Stockdale Paradox'?

The name refers to Admiral Jim Stockdale, who was the highest ranking United States military officer in the “Hanoi Hilton” prisoner-of-war camp during the height of the Vietnam war. Tortured over twenty times during his eight year imprisonment from 1965 to 1973, Stockdale lived out the war without any prisoner’s rights, no set release date, and no certainty as to whether he would even survive to see his family again. He shouldered the burden of command, doing everything he could to create conditions that would increase the number of prisoners who would survive unbroken, while fighting an internal war against his captors. After his release, Stockdale became the first three-star officer in the history of the navy to wear both aviator wings and the Congressional medal of Honor.

Stockdale had unshakable faith that he would get out, prevail in the end and also turn the experience into the defining event of his life. When questioned as to which prisoners didn’t make out, he replied that the optimists didn’t make out. He explained that the optimists would say, ”We’re going to be out by Christmas”. Christmas would come and go. Then they’d say,” We’re going to be out by Easter”. Easter would come and go and then Thanksgiving and Christmas again. They died of a broken heart.

He said, “ This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end- which you can never afford to lose- with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be”.

Life is unfair- sometimes to our advantage, sometimes to our disadvantage. We will all experience disappointments and crushing events somewhere along the way, setbacks for which there is no “reason”, no one to blame. It might be disease; it might be injury; it might be an accident; it might be losing a loved one; it might be getting shot down over Vietnam and thrown into a POW camp for eight years. What separates people, Stockdale said, is not the presence or absence of difficulty, but how they deal with the inevitable difficulties of life. In wrestling with life’s challenges, the Stockdale paradox ( you must retain faith that you will prevail in the end and you must also confront the most brutal facts of your current reality) has proved powerful for coming back from difficulties not weakened, but stronger.

Something to mull over, isn’t it?

Last Sunday morning, a small group of us went for trekking in the hills near our residence. It is a short 30-45 minutes trek before you reach one of the peaks. Later on, I sat down to note some parallels between the trekking journey and spiritual seeking.

We are at the base of the mountain and we can climb up from anywhere. There are many paths and we can even create our own paths.  We did both as we started at one place only to lose our path. We kept on climbing by instinct, negotiating steep rocks and treacherous footholds on the steep gravel, encouraging each other always ensuring that we were going higher and higher.

In the spiritual field too, there are many paths. While some swear by I Ching, others extol the virtues of the Art of Living. Some go for Vipassana while others make the annual pilgrimage to Sabarimala. Some are regulars for the weekly prayer at the Church and others try to copy Ramdev Baba on TV.

The path that we were on was unusually steep and filled with detours. Sometimes, the stone on which we kept our foot gave away or the branches we relied upon got uprooted. Nevertheless, we clambered on until we suddenly came across a clearing. Some minutes later, we had reached the top. A gentleman who had been watching us from the top remarked that we seemed to have deliberately taken the most difficult route to the top. Later on, it occurred to me that we had not chosen our path.

The path had chosen us.

In spiritual circles too, though we think that we are choosing a particular path, the fact is that the path is chosen for us. We are attracted to a path depending on exactly what we need at that particular stage in life. Certain colorful personalities make it through the Osho path, some get disappointed and move to the Krishna bhakti path or the way of Advaita.  Many jostle on the highways of temples and rituals, fasts and feasts.

So, in effect there is no better path, higher path or lower path. In fact, for many, the right path today may be to just drift along without any path. Yet, the characteristic of many paths is that people become attached to the path claiming that theirs is the only path to ultimate freedom. On our way back from the climb, we came across an acquaintance who insisted that the way he came up was the right way for us to go down. We ignored him and went in search of our own path.

A corollary of the above is that people try to lure you into their path. On the mountain, a gentleman filled with a spirit of holiness shouted ‘Bole re Bole’. We were engaged in our own unholy chatter and thoroughly ignored him. Somewhat offended, he stopped us and smilingly insisted that unless we repeat after him ‘Bum bum bole’, he will not let us proceed. Without any trace of holiness, we heartily complied. Such small advertisements are fine and fun but when someone insists that unless we do the Part 1 Basic course, we and our grandchildren are doomed to hell, it is time to run in the opposite direction.

It is difficult to say which is the best part of trekking. The slow, tough climb towards the top with parched throat and weary limbs or the swift, careful climb down with strategic application of brakes. Yet, one of the highlights is when you are sitting at the top with vast open spaces around, a lake in the distance, a gentle breeze all around and cold water guzzling down your throat….

I don’t know if there is any parallel to this in the spiritual field as I am still on the journey.

The only thing I can say with certainty is that, with good company, the trekking journey itself becomes a spiritual journey.

Our guest blogger today is the lovely Jasmine Koshy. She has done her MBA in Finance and lives in the suburb of Vasai. She recounts her recent experience with Vipassana Meditation during a 10 day retreat at Igatpuri in Maharashtra. During the retreat, she met Varsha Panicker (VP) and Krishnaveni (KV).

For a few wayward moments, a strange desire often surfaced deep within me to let myself lose in a serene secluded place on earth;  to roam around free in order to step into and discover a whole new world of tranquility.

That is when I came across a new term “Vipassana” meditation. It appealed to me because I love talking and it seemed like a challenge to not talk for ten days-Noble Silence. I also thought that Vipassana would be good detoxification - physically, emotionally and mentally. I read that Vipassana is an observation-based, self-exploratory journey to the common root of mind and body that dissolves mental impurity, resulting in a balanced mind full of love and compassion.

Contemplating all this, I decided to attend this meditation course conducted at Igatpuri-Nashik, Maharashtra which is the head quarters of Vipassana Research Institute started by Sayagi S. N. Goenka. This unique center provides a serene-sublime environment for a deep dip inside for the exploration of mind-body phenomenon. I wanted to stay alone as this is my own journey ; I need to walk alone on this path. Alas, this was not to be.

Nevertheless, the management team advised me to check out my room mate as she was quite sure that I will learn a lot from this room partner ; would enjoy the stay with her. I wondered why she told this to me…because it’s supposed to be a deep silent meditation technique without any communication with each other, then how am I going to learn something when we have to act dumb and deaf to each other.

I would like to relate my encounters with some of the people during and after the meditation course.

1. My room mate-VP: I stepped into my room with a conviction that; if nothing else, at least I’m going to learn to share a room with a stranger for 10 days. When I met my room partner, I really liked her at the first meeting itself. Felt some strange connection with her. From day one evening, we all went into Noble silence & stopped communicating. Days went by and somehow I felt that the silence is killing most of us around; as we are not used to making silence within ourselves ; that too for so long.

One day, I noticed many meditators wandering here and  there alone …some looking up to the sky, some to the trees and birds, some looking at the beautiful mountains. I saw VP rushing out - her prominent eyes looking up to the sky and a broad 70 mm smile displayed on her face …. I too ended up looking in the same direction and couldn’t believe my eyes “Omg!!! It was a helicopter….I mean just a helicopter”.

Next I imagined VP taking a scarf, waving, signaling and screaming out to the helicopter guys for help to save her from this deserted island where she has got lost perhaps due to some kind of shipwreck or plane crash.

On the tenth day, we broke our silence and spoke like chatterboxes on almost everything under the sun. She is really a sweetheart and we spoke till 2 a.m. Next day we had to bid goodbye, there were slight tears in my eyes, felt like giving her a hug, but then we need to be equanimous ….this is what we learnt at Vipassana. So we parted ways happily. I learned one thing “Silence speaks a lot”.


2. VP’s hubby (PP): I had a brief talk with him... he seemed like a very practical person kind of atheist at times I guess, but of course a genuine human being.

3. KV: The girl next door ….or the lady next door …an extremely talented person. With her deceptive looks I mistook her for a corporate lady but to my surprise she turned out to be a housewife. She always says she has the heart of a 25 year old & I am supposed to address her and her friends by their names; dare not use any add-ons for respect. After Vipassana I am also in regular touch with her and her hubby (SV): “An artist working at IBM”….this is what I refer to him. His artistic talent is truly commendable.


4. SN: -Last but not the least of course- the heroic entry of SN. I often heard compliments about him from VP and KV. I was curious to know more about this person. It so happened that SN turned out to be the expert CV builder who modified my CV and when I read the summary written by him in my CV, I couldn’t help but ring him up to thank him for his kind gesture. As far as I could understand him from his talks and through his blogs, I am sure Samu can always say one thing “The greatest gift I ever had, Came from God; And I call him Dad!”

Excerpt from the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad:

“We are what our deep, driving desire is, so is our will. As our will is, so is our deed. As our deed is, so is our destiny.”

All in all, this entire journey was a very important and valuable time for me again! Rewarding in so many aspects....learning the technique of Vipassana meditation camp; at the same time my encounter with so many talented people. The bliss and tranquility that I got from it, I am grateful to the course and I must continue to practise it for the rest of my life and for that, I must continue to meditate daily.

Will it be a tall order? Only time can tell. At the end of the day when I look back, I can always say “All is well”.

No wonder the management team’s prediction came true.

May all beings be happy!

Which comes first- the chicken or the egg ?

This seems to be like one of those unanswerable questions. If the chicken came first, then didn’t it hatch from an egg? And if the egg came first, wasn’t it laid by a chicken.

Still, there are answers and it depends on what you believe in. If you believe in God and the Bible, the first chapter in Genesis says that on the fifth day, God created chicken with every other fowl. So, the chicken came first.

If you believe in science and the theory of evolution, eggs, those miniature incubators of life evolved more than 1 billion years ago, in the oceans of the earth. When land animals evolved about 250 million years ago, the eggs had a tough covering to retain moisture on dry land. Now, genetic material does not alter during an animal’s life. It does, however, change in the egg. Therefore, the first bird that evolved into what we would call a chicken, probably in prehistoric times, must have first existed as an embryo inside an egg. So, the egg came first.

However, which came first is not my concern. As you can see from the title of this piece, I am interested in how the chicken comes out of the egg. I mean one way or the other, the egg has to break for the chicken to come out. Now, it is risky for the mother hen to stamp the egg with its feet or break it with its beak. The chicken may be forced to undergo emergency surgery immediately after birth. The chicken itself is too tiny and helpless inside the egg to try and break it from inside. The question is who will break it.

I found my answer in a standard fourth science book. The solution is so neat you want to salute the love and care of God if you believe in one or the practical intelligence of the power that drives us all.

Just before a chick is ready to hatch, a horny growth called the “egg tooth” develops on the top of its beak. The egg tooth is hard enough to cut the shell. The chick turns its body within the egg and chips the shell with the egg tooth until the shell cracks from the inside and finally breaks open at its broadest part. Parent birds just watch in fascination and do not help to break the shell, but they often carry away the pieces of shell when the chick is free. The egg tooth drops off a day or two after the chick hatches! So, you are provided with a built in tool just for the period when you need it most.

By logical extension, this intelligence of the creative force of existence would definitely take care of each one of us and provide us with whatever we need at the right time for our own good. So, maybe the best strategy is to just surrender and relax.

However, the hen does not have any idea about the future of the egg. Whether it will get life or tawe pe fry hoga!

Recently, I happened to land on Discovery channel only to see a python preparing to devour a deer that was drinking water on the banks of a river. It was remarkable underwater photography but more than that there were many scientific explanations such as how the snake’s eyes are designed like the cross hairs of a long range gun to target its prey.

The snake has to lunge out of the water and a less than perfect aim would make the sure footed deer run away.  The snake precisely grabbed the throat of the deer with its backward curving teeth. The deer fell down. It then coiled itself around the deer’s body.

Unlike popular perceptions, the snake does not kill its victim by breaking their bones. It allows the deer to breathe and with each breath slowly tightens its hold and the victim dies of suffocation.  They don’t chew their food at all. They swallow it whole and then rely on the powerful stomach acids to do the job of digesting. This single meal would last it for several weeks.

Now, the common perception is that the deer is an innocent animal and the snake is cruel to kill its prey in such a manner. Any sane person would blame the snake for using its might to attack such a lovely creature. Yet, the same God or Consciousness created both the snake and the deer. Not just created but gave the snake a super size jaw, razor sharp teeth and powerful acids to digest a far bigger creature. Without all that, the poor snake would starve. If deers are not eliminated by an occasional snake or a lion or a tiger, the deer population would multiply and be deprived of sufficient food.

My point is that nature is perfect. Cruel, innocent, mighty are concepts that we have added to an activity that is going on fine. Not just fine, but in the bigger picture, it is the perfect activity for evolution, for all.

Nature is impersonal. The snake is not selfish- it is just hunting for its food in the manner provided by its instincts. The particular deer that has been targeted has not done some evil act to deserve its fate.

Indeed, all izz well.